Stats I'd like to see

Back in the day, when NeverWon was spending time living life in Philly, I'd think of letters I'd want to write.

For example:

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,

When you walk across the floor like that, it makes me want to kill you.

Love,

NeverWon

Well, one of the letters I did write was to the NBA. You see, there was a game where Yao knocked the ball away from the post player and it ended up in T-Mac's waiting (yet strangely non-arthritic) hands.

Who got credit for the steal? T-Mac.

Who should've gotten credit for the steal? Yao.

Right then and there, I created a new statistical category: The half-steal. As far as new inventions go, I'd rank the half-steal thusly:

1) The Wheel
2) The Half-Steal
3) The personal computer
4) The Lightbulb

I wrote a letter to the NBA. They said they'd take it under advisement. 'Natch.

As time progressed and I watched Deron Williams pass the ball over and over to AK-47, only to have AK-47 brick shots like a 5th-grade girls team, I created another statistical category -- the Blown Assist.

Here's the invention list revision, the Blown Assist included.

1) The Wheel
2) The Half-Steal
3) The Blown Assist
4) The personal computer
5) The Lightbulb
6) The iPod (iPod added to clearly mark the passage of time)

Now I was able to watch games unburdened by the failures of my own players to get stats in the more "relevant" categories -- points, rebounds, assists, etc. Instead, I counted my favorite categories -- the Half Steal and the Blown Assist.

Why bring this up now? Well, it seems as though NBA players are in favor of new categories!

Witness Jameer Nelson's (Editor's Note: not the same as Lebron's "I am a Witness" Nike campaign) creation of the Hockey Assist category.

Well done Jameer! NeverWon salutes you.