Saturday, November 15, 2008

(no title)

This one's for you, Misers. I anxiously await our week 6 match-up.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Welcome Freshmen

With Mr. League entering its 8th season this fall, it seems like things have settled in a bit. We haven't really had any major rule changes in several years (except maybe transaction fees), payouts haven't changed, and The Auction is becoming a mainstay.

However, Mr. League VIII will look much different than past years, because a new manager has accepted the challenge to compete in the greatest fantasy league ever to make it past college. Zachary B. Cohen is the newest member of the league, and will be participating in the 4th annual Auction at Stuy Town October 25th, bringing with him the wide-eyed enthusiasm and naivete of a Mr. League virgin.

Welcome, young Zachary. I wish you luck in your inaugural season. But not too much luck.

It is with a heavy heart, however, that I offer this welcome. Yes, Moop will be sorely missed. Rarely does one find a worthier adversary.

Anyways, here's to new beginnings!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Roll Best League Ever

With Mr. League VIII right around the corner, it's time to bring back your favorite blog. Here are some news feeds from the Best League Ever:

The Misers won Mr. League VII. This pains the Mullets to no end so let's just move on.

The Misers threatened to move to Denver. Yeah, right, like that was actually going to happen. The net result of this threat? The Row and Cardeef were forced into an 8 month lease. Nice work.

The Auction is scheduled for October 24 and will once again be held in Stuytown. Thank God! Only one downside - David's Bagels on 14th and 1st closed. R.I.P.

Big news on the relationship front(s). BTE's one true girlfriend is getting married--not to BTE. Nevertheless, BTE has his first out-of-the-closet girlfriend since the knife-to-heart event drove BTE out of the West Village, off the island of Manhattan and back to the mean streets of Philly.

Elsewhere in Mr. League, Flux is engaged and Moop got hitched. Not to be outdone, of course, Moop's sidekick, The Burning Sensation (a/k/a Avoid the Clap), is getting married in a few weeks. [side note: Mrs. Burning Sensation is a distant cousin to JNF7777 -- I find this almost as compelling as the Miser's cousin marrying the White Kenny Smith]

Loser's Row and the Mullets are both shedding weight in order to continue to bring the heat late into the 4th Quarter of the Mr. League Auction (suck it, Mama Looch). Keeping Tier-1 status ain't easy.

Finally, the "Mighty" Mullets have officially been retired. Commencing with Mr. League VIII, "Maple's" Mullets will officially be open for Mr. League business.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Moment in Mullet Time

3:39 am: The Mullets are awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep because they have some cocktail of SARS/Bird Flu/Mad Cow. The Mullet are sitting on the can having cold farts but unable to poop. Why did Mike Bibby go 1-11? Why? Why?

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Return of the Best League Ever

Miser!!! Welcome back to the blog, brother! I look forward to your next power rankings.

Shout out to the Mullets!

What I Learned In School

Kudos to Loser's Row for teaching me that just when you think you've finally passed the point of no return for being utterly pathetic when it comes to fantasy basketball, think again.

I was on my way home from a fascinating mortgage banker's convention in Orlando, which was also attended by The Flux might I add, when I frantically reached for my Blackberry to check for updates on the Terrelle Pryor signing.

I was more pleased, however, to discover this incredible email exchange between the Seattle Times beat reporter and our own Loser's Row.


From: Loser's Row
Sent: Wed 2/6/2008 8:11 AM
To: Jayda Evans
Subject: Kurt Thomas

Any update on Kurt Thomas? Didn't see it in this article...

Loser's Row
-----Original Message-----
From: Jayda Evans []
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2008 11:17 AM
To: Loser's Row
Subject: RE: Kurt Thomas

Thanks for reading. That's my bad, I didn't update his injury. Kurt did
not practice on Tuesday because of the scratched right eye, but said on
Monday that he should be fine by today. We'll know more by game-time.
Thanks, again, for reading and I apologize for leaving that information
out. Take care...Jayda Evans


How pathetic! Of course this got me to thinking:


From: The Misers
Sent: Sun 2/10/2008 11:25 AM
Subject: Elton Brand


Do you have an update on how Brand's progressing at all? We haven't heard anything in a little while and I suspect that fantasy bball fanatics such as myself are getting a little anxious with the playoffs quickly approaching. How is his rehab going since he was cleared for more strenuous running and jumping? Is he practicing? Does he look good? Is there a timetable set yet? I'd sincerely appreciate a brief update on his progress if you have one. Thanks a lot.

The Misers

-----Original Message-----
From: Abrams, Jonathan []
Sent: Sunday, February 10, 2008 6:21 PM
To: The Misers
Subject: RE: Elton Brand

I should have an update once they return from the road, before the all-star break.


If YKJ Blogged...

We're back folks. With the playoffs rapidly approaching I thought it was an opportune time to get things back up and running on here...that is until Chad completely takes it over again.

Here is the highlight of my day, which was provided by Yom Kippur at Joel's:

Bone315: love this story
Bone315: classic
Bone315: have you seen this
Bone315: the berman video
Bone315: watch this
Bone315: and write me
Bone315: dont ignore me
Bone315: GOT IT
Bone315: RICH ROD
Bone315: CRYING
Bone315: god im hitting you with great shit tonight
Bone315: your welcome for this all
Bone315: skate to the neck is still the best
Bone315: ever
Bone315: so sad