Mr. League Power Rankings - Week 1

Well… it's time for the Week 1 Mr. League Power Rankings. Here is where I analyze your teams, and then you all go and cry to your mommies like little pussies. Or else you just leave your comments below. Pussies.

#1 - Mighty Mullets (1)
There are certainly weaknesses on this team, but there’s no reason to drop them yet. Deron Williams led the way with a huge 4-game week. Danny Granger has finally exploded. The return of Richard Hamilton will only propel this team upward in the standings as the Mullets face a woeful AUCTION ERA Misers team in Week 2.

#2 - Moop Resurrected (4)
We all knew Dwight Howard was a beast, but middle-tier talent showed up this week as well. Richard Jefferson returned to fantasy relevance this week. Michael Redd looks healthy and hungry for meat. Kevin Martin is an established fantasy beast, and should be for years.

#3 - The Flux (5)
If Chris Kaman plays like this for a whole season, we have a contender here. Fortunately, that’s very unlikely, and it will probably take a big year from Rondo and Dalembert to keep the Flux on this side of the playoff fence. So far, so good.

#4 - Cardiff Giant (10)
The Giant dropped almost 550 points in a shortened week, but we all know Cardiff favors the ‘sexy’ categories, so this was no surprise. The balanced attack was impressive, though, for week 1. The ‘Big 5’ all showed why they’re worth precious auction dollars, but help was also found in Brendan Haywood, Diaw, and even Jason Mack-zilla

#5 - Mama Looch (2)
Bargnani looks good, but Charlie V really brings down those percentages. Jason Terry is sixth man of my balls. Which brings me to…

#6 - Blue Balls (6)
Value guards Ronnie Brewer and T.J. Ford look awesome. Where is Luol Deng? Chris Wilcox might have a good year, finally. I’ll say it again, the success of this team depends on the health of Jermaine O’Neal (and Crash Wallace)

#7 - Mikey's Roofies (8)
Marcus Camby looks like the reigning Defensive Player of the Year. Surprising contributions from Marvin Williams, Nick Collison, and my favorite player, Jamal Crawford.

#8 - Loser's Row (9)
Great pickup of John Salmons. Amare is ‘day-to-day’ with soreness in his knee. Uh-oh…

#9 - The Burning Sensation (3)
Needs Wade back desperately for assists and steals. Not sure who’s gonna help with 3pt% and FT%. Is Peja the key?

#10 - Yom Kippur at Joel's (11)
One more week without Artest. This team needs help in other categories, though, such as assists, and FT. Kobe is spectacular, but he can't carry the Lakers, or the Weaz, to a championship without some help.

#11 - Best Team Ever (7)
Garnett had his monster games, but this team lacks a steady source of assists and 3-point shooting. The other young big men on this team need to develop soon, and start putting up blocks and boards.

#12 - The Misers (12)
Well, Chris Paul looks great. The rest of this team, not too spectacular. Ben Wallace is an embarassment. The jury’s still out on Kirilenko. Should be a force in the loser’s bracket.

I hope you all have shitty luck this week! See you next Sunday.

Week 2 Positional Rankings

Since the Week 1 Positional Rankings were such a success and led to three hits from Google Blog Search, and not because I'm required to fill out these rankings for my other fantasy basketball blog DroppingDimes.com, BTE presents the Week 2 Positional Rankings (even though some teams haven't played a game yet -- this intense motherfucker finally debuts tonight!!) .

Question of the day: How many Google Blog Search hits does this lead to? The over/under is set at 3.

Games:

4 Atlanta Hawks
4 Charlotte Bobcats
4 Cleveland Cavaliers
4 Denver Nuggets
4 Houston Rockets
4 Los Angeles Clippers
4 New Orleans Hornets
4 Orlando Magic
4 Phoenix Suns
4 San Antonio Spurs
4 Seattle Supersonics
4 Toronto Raptors

3 Boston Celtics
3 Chicago Bulls
3 Dallas Mavericks
3 Detroit Pistons
3 Indiana Pacers
3 Memphis Grizzlies
3 Miami Heat
3 Milwaukee Bucks
3 Minnesota Timberwolves
3 New Jersey Nets
3 New York Knicks
3 Philadelphia 76ers
3 Portland Trailblazers
3 Sacramento Kings
3 Utah Jazz
3 Wahington Wizards

2 Golden State Warriors
2 Los Angeles Lakers

Point Guards:

1 Steve Nash
2 Chris Paul
3 Gilbert Arenas
4 Deron Williams
5 Jason Kidd
6 Allen Iverson
7 Chauncey Billups
8 T.J. Ford
9 Earl Watson
10 Jameer Nelson
11 Leandro Barbosa
12 Raymond Felton
13 Kirk Hinrich
14 Tony Parker
15 Maurice Williams
16 Andre Miller
17 Jamaal Tinsley
18 Larry Hughes
19 Baron Davis
20 Stephon Marbury
21 Devin Harris
22 Jason Williams
23 Rajon Rondo
24 Sam Cassell
25 Rafer Alston

Shooting Guards:


1 Tracy McGrady
2 Vince Carter
3 Joe Johnson
4 Manu Ginobli
5 Jason Richardson
6 Kevin Martin
7 Michael Redd
8 Brandon Roy
9 Ray Allen
10 Kobe Bryant
11 Mike Miller
12 Jason Terry
13 Ben Gordon
14 Raja Bell
15 Ricky Davis
16 Anthony Parker
17 Richard Hamilton
18 Ronnie Brewer
19 Wally Szczerbiak
20 Kyle Korver
21 Mike Dunleavy
22 Morris Peterson
23 Jamal Crawford
24 Cuttino Mobley
25 Monta Ellis

Small Forwards:


1 LeBron James
2 Josh Smith
3 Rashard Lewis
4 Gerald Wallace
5 Corey Maggette
6 Andre Iguodala
7 Paul Pierce
8 Carmelo Anthony
9 Luol Deng
10 Caron Butler
11 Kevin Durant
12 Peja Stojakovic
13 Danny Granger
14 Andrei Kirilenko
15 Richard Jefferson
16 Hedo Turkoglu
17 Grant Hill
18 Tim Thomas
19 Rudy Gay
20 Josh Howard
21 Shane Battier
22 Jason Kapono
23 Josh Childress
24 Tayshaun Prince
25 Ruben Patterson

Power Forwards:


1 Kevin Garnett
2 Dirk Nowitzki
3 Shawn Marion
4 David West
5 LaMarcus Aldridge
6 Antawn Jamison
7 Chris Wilcox
8 Zach Randolph
9 Rasheed Wallace
10 Drew Gooden
11 Nick Collison
12 Al Horford
13 Boris Diaw
14 Darko Milicic
15 Tyrus Thomas
16 Al Thornton
17 Walter Herrmann
18 Al Harrington
19 Nene Hilario
20 Chuck Hayes
21 Marvin Williams
22 Udonis Haslem
23 Reggie Evans
24 Jason Maxiell
25 David Lee

Centers:

1 Yao Ming
2 Amare Stoudemire
3 Dwight Howard
4 Marcus Camby
5 Tim Duncan
6 Chris Bosh
7 Tyson Chandler
8 Pau Gasol
9 Al Jefferson
10 Carlos Boozer
11 Jermaine O'Neal
12 Andrea Bargnani
13 Emeka Okafor
14 Zydrunas Ilguaskas
15 Mehmet Okur
16 Brad Miller
17 Samuel Dalembert
18 Ben Wallace
19 Andrew Bogut
20 Chris Kaman
21 Shaquille O'Neal
22 Nenad Krstic
23 Andris Biedrins
24 Antonio McDyess
25 Andrew Bynum

Free base, it's in your neighborhood!

Week 1 Positional Rankings

What the hell; how about some actual fantasy basketball analysis? I've been asked to rank players for the other fantasy basketball blog I write for (WARNING: shameless self-promo time), DroppingDimes.com, so I figured I'd share my rankings for Week 1. Unfortunately, the positions don't account for MPE and as a result they are a little limited and some players may be listed incorrectly (we're getting the kinks ironed out).

Regardless, here they are. Misers, take some notes and then plug them into your stolen spreadsheet. Enjoy.

WEEK 1

Games and Team

4 Utah Jazz

3 Chicago Bulls
3 Cleveland Cavaliers
3 Dallas Mavericks
3 Denver Nuggets
3 Detroit Pistons
3 Golden State Warriors
3 Houston Rockets
3 Indiana Pacers
3 Los Angeles Lakers
3 Miami Heat
3 Milwaukee Bucks
3 New Jersey Nets
3 New Orleans Hornets
3 Orlando Magic
3 Philadelphia 76ers
3 Phoenix Suns
3 Portland Trailblazers
3 Sacramento Kings
3 San Antonio Spurs
3 Seattle Supersonics
3 Toronto Raptors
3 Wahington Wizards

2 Atlanta Hawks
2 Boston Celtics
2 Charlotte Bobcats
2 Los Angeles Clippers
2 Memphis Grizzlies
2 Minnesota Timberwolves
2 New York Knicks

Point Guards

1 Deron Williams
2 Steve Nash
3 Chris Paul
4 Baron Davis
5 Chauncey Billups
6 Gilbert Arenas -- That knee isn't looking too good yet.
7 Allen Iverson
8 Kirk Hinrich
9 Jason Kidd
10 Maurice Williams
11 Tony Parker
12 Jameer Nelson
13 Andre Miller
14 Leandro Barbosa
15 Mike Bibby
16 T.J. Ford
17 Jamaal Tinsley
18 Larry Hughes
19 Jason Williams
20 Devin Harris
21 Raymond Felton
22 Rajon Rondo
23 Stephon Marbury
24 Chucky Atkins
25 Rafer Alston

Shooting Guards

1 Kobe Bryant
2 Tracy McGrady
3 Vince Carter
4 Kevin Martin
5 Michael Redd
6 Ronnie Brewer -- Seriously, dude has 4 games. Poobie, you shoulda kept both Brewers.
7 Brandon Roy
8 Manu Ginobli
9 Ben Gordon
10 Jason Richardson
11 Monta Ellis
12 Richard Hamilton
13 Joe Johnson
14 Ray Allen
15 Mike Miller
16 Jason Terry
17 Ricky Davis
18 Raja Bell
19 Mike Dunleavy
20 Wally Szczerbiak
21 Rashad McCants
22 Anthony Parker
23 Tony Allen
24 Quentin Richardson
25 Kyle Korver

Small Forwards

1 LeBron James
2 Andre Iguodala
3 Rashard Lewis
4 Carmelo Anthony
5 Caron Butler
6 Luol Deng
7 Josh Howard
8 Josh Smith
9 Gerald Wallace
10 Paul Pierce
11 Danny Granger
12 Andrei Kirilenko
13 Richard Jefferson
14 Boris Diaw -- So overrated. I think I put him here to torture myself.
15 Tayshaun Prince
16 Shane Battier
17 Corey Maggette
18 Rudy Gay
19 Peja Stojakovic
20 Kevin Durant
21 Luke Walton
22 Hedo Turkoglu
23 Grant Hill
24 Martell Webster
25 Jeff Green

Power Forwards

1 Dirk Nowitzki
2 Shawn Marion
3 Antawn Jamison
4 LaMarcus Aldridge
5 David West
6 Kevin Garnett
7 Rasheed Wallace
8 Lamar Odom
9 Al Harrington
10 Tyrus Thomas
11 Luis Scola
12 Zach Randolph
13 Chris Wilcox
14 Nene Hilario
15 Boris Diaw
16 Drew Gooden
17 Udonis Haslem
18 Charlie Villanueva
19 Nick Collison
20 Jason Smith
21 Channing Frye
22 Al Horford
23 Darko Milicic -- Get your head in the game, damn it!!
24 Al Thornton
25 Jason Maxiell

Centers

1 Carlos Boozer
2 Yao Ming
3 Amare Stoudemire
4 Dwight Howard
5 Chris Bosh
6 Marcus Camby
7 Jermaine O'Neal
8 Tim Duncan
9 Pau Gasol
10 Al Jefferson
11 Andris Biedrins
12 Mehmet Okur
13 Tyson Chandler
14 Andrea Bargnani
15 Zydrunas Ilguaskas
16 Emeka Okafor
17 Andrew Bogut
18 Brad Miller
19 Shaquille O'Neal
20 Ben Wallace
21 Andrew Bynum
22 Nenad Krstic
23 Antonio McDyess
24 Chris Kaman
25 Robert Swift -- That's for you Never Won!

Hummmm on deez nuts.