Monday, November 5, 2007

Mr. League Power Rankings - Week 1

Well… it's time for the Week 1 Mr. League Power Rankings. Here is where I analyze your teams, and then you all go and cry to your mommies like little pussies. Or else you just leave your comments below. Pussies.

#1 - Mighty Mullets (1)
There are certainly weaknesses on this team, but there’s no reason to drop them yet. Deron Williams led the way with a huge 4-game week. Danny Granger has finally exploded. The return of Richard Hamilton will only propel this team upward in the standings as the Mullets face a woeful AUCTION ERA Misers team in Week 2.

#2 - Moop Resurrected (4)
We all knew Dwight Howard was a beast, but middle-tier talent showed up this week as well. Richard Jefferson returned to fantasy relevance this week. Michael Redd looks healthy and hungry for meat. Kevin Martin is an established fantasy beast, and should be for years.

#3 - The Flux (5)
If Chris Kaman plays like this for a whole season, we have a contender here. Fortunately, that’s very unlikely, and it will probably take a big year from Rondo and Dalembert to keep the Flux on this side of the playoff fence. So far, so good.

#4 - Cardiff Giant (10)
The Giant dropped almost 550 points in a shortened week, but we all know Cardiff favors the ‘sexy’ categories, so this was no surprise. The balanced attack was impressive, though, for week 1. The ‘Big 5’ all showed why they’re worth precious auction dollars, but help was also found in Brendan Haywood, Diaw, and even Jason Mack-zilla

#5 - Mama Looch (2)
Bargnani looks good, but Charlie V really brings down those percentages. Jason Terry is sixth man of my balls. Which brings me to…

#6 - Blue Balls (6)
Value guards Ronnie Brewer and T.J. Ford look awesome. Where is Luol Deng? Chris Wilcox might have a good year, finally. I’ll say it again, the success of this team depends on the health of Jermaine O’Neal (and Crash Wallace)

#7 - Mikey's Roofies (8)
Marcus Camby looks like the reigning Defensive Player of the Year. Surprising contributions from Marvin Williams, Nick Collison, and my favorite player, Jamal Crawford.

#8 - Loser's Row (9)
Great pickup of John Salmons. Amare is ‘day-to-day’ with soreness in his knee. Uh-oh…

#9 - The Burning Sensation (3)
Needs Wade back desperately for assists and steals. Not sure who’s gonna help with 3pt% and FT%. Is Peja the key?

#10 - Yom Kippur at Joel's (11)
One more week without Artest. This team needs help in other categories, though, such as assists, and FT. Kobe is spectacular, but he can't carry the Lakers, or the Weaz, to a championship without some help.

#11 - Best Team Ever (7)
Garnett had his monster games, but this team lacks a steady source of assists and 3-point shooting. The other young big men on this team need to develop soon, and start putting up blocks and boards.

#12 - The Misers (12)
Well, Chris Paul looks great. The rest of this team, not too spectacular. Ben Wallace is an embarassment. The jury’s still out on Kirilenko. Should be a force in the loser’s bracket.

I hope you all have shitty luck this week! See you next Sunday.

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