Better Power Rankings

Brought to you by Fred "Ogre" Palowalski.


#1 - The Flux (3)
So far, so good. The Flux went with solid all-around guys like Marion and Rashard Lewis, and ranks no lower than 7th in any single category on the season. The Vinsane injury will hurt, but role players like Rondo and Kaman will ease the blow. Heck, Theo Ratliff is averaging 3.5 blocks. So far, this team is charmed.

#2 - Moop Resurrected (2)
Lots of points and rebounds, which is telling. I think this team remains strong throughout the season due to depth – an injury would not derail the Moop because he’s got back-ups at every position, including 3 workable C’s. RJ and Kmart are still tearing shit up. Still, it’s gonna take more than points and rebounds.

#3 - Mikey's Roofies (7)
OK, my team is awesome. There’s no point in being modest anymore.

#4 - Mighty Mullets (1)
Yi’s Drunk Midgets! No? How about Yi’s Drunk Mullets? I still like Danny Granger, and I see a big stretch coming up for Pau Gasol. Still, any manager that holds on to Zaza Pachulia through injury is questionable in my book.

#5 - Cardiff Giant (10)
A solid week from the Giant. However, if your only source of blocks is Brendan Haywood, you might be looking to upgrade at ‘C’.

#6 - Mama Looch (2)
First an up week, then a down week for Andrea B. Duncan, Bosh, and Okafor still look like the best set of C’s in Mr. League, though. Jason Terry should come back down to earth soon.

#7 - Blue Balls (6)
Has only one player averaging less than 13.5ppg (Tinsley). Still, it sounds like Agent Zero’s having some issues, he’ll need to come back strong to right this ship.

#8 - Loser's Row (8)
So far it’s almost a dead heat between Marbury and Josh Smith for asshole of the year.

#9 - The Misers (12)
I know it was a big week for the Mazoors, but I just can’t move up a team that has Wally, Udonis, Kyle Lowry, and Mike Dunleavy on its roster. Talk about a bunch of scrubs.

#10 - The Burning Sensation (9)
Sounds like Wade is close. Peja has proven that sometimes he doesn't suck.

#11 - Best Team Ever (11)
Garnett still dominates, but Iguodala averaging 5 TO’s? Ugh. Aldridge and Barbosa are good and improving, but this team leaves a lot to be desired.

#12 - Yom Kippur at Joel's (10)
The Ron Artest era begins now. We all know what Kobe does, but Kevin Durant is proving he will be a star in the league, and Shaq still has some tank left in the gas. Sign #64 your team might be in trouble: Joel Przybilla leads your squad in boards.

Please welcome our newest contributor

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the newest Best League Ever blog contributor, Shap Deez.

Here's a few fun facts about Shap:

1) He has a tendency to cry (like real tears).
2) His favorite position is the titty fuck (is that a position)?
3) He's a shrewd fantasy basketball player but has nothing to show for it.

Anyway, here's a quick song that reminds me of Shap Deez:

Intro:
my baby left me, left me sad and blue
I didn't know what to do
and then I met his best friend
and he took me to his house
and I said...I said...
(what you said baby) let me tell you what I said
Put it in my mouth
She said put it in her mouth
I said my muthafuckin mouth
I mean her muthafuckin mouth
Put it in my mouth
She said put it in her mouth
my muthafuckin mouth

Verse
You wanna go down why not
I be like Herbie and han you a cock
and tell you that my name is AK
get on your kness, make like the breeze begin to blow
but dont give me no Ralph Loren grin
if your not down to go low >deep in my mouth
I'm all about mouth fuckin
only if you down for dick suckin
if not, be chair and a beer...keep truckin
and fuck chap sticks
I'm comin ashy as hell, wit chapped dicks
for your chapped ass lips >down in my mouth
creamin your teeth like dentists as Im rubbin them
with an erection like injections
fuck it I be druggin them
numbing up your tonsils
like ambesol anesthetic
cummin down your throat like chloraseptic no time for
apologin..girlfriend if you.....
swallowin{gurgle}....gagolin
I'm givin bitches permanent beers
put your lips here
and catch these damn facial hairs in your mouth

Put it in my mouth
Put it in your mouth
I said my muthafuckin mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
or you can just eat me out
or I can just eat you out
you can eat me out
yeah, whats that all about
Now you can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it
I'm talkin every drip-drop, don't you waste it
baby, slurp it up, its enough to fill your cup
its finger lickin good
and Im wishin it would
go down kinda slow or even fast
I'm always sprung once I feel your tongue
In the crack of my ass, just eatin me-nigga
goin out like that boy you pack such a tasty treat
and you can e a t m e o u t
but put it your my mouth
put it in your mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
I said your muthafuckin mouth
and you could just eat me out
what do ya choose to lick
you could eat me out
pussy or dick?
put it in your mouth
people through out the world
I said your muthafuckin mouth
man it's your pick
put it in my mouth
what do ya choose to lick
put it in my mouth
pussy or dick?
I said my muthafuckin mouth
people through out the world
just put it in my mouth
yeah it's your pick
muthafuckin mouth
what do you wanna lick
and you could just eat me out
pussy or dick?
in my mouth
people through out the world
put it in my mouth
its..your..pick..hah
baby-baby in my mouth
its your pick..pick
let me go down
uhh, uhh
people through out the world