Who me?

For an informative look at who the experts think the most valuable players are in the early going, we turn now to NBA.com. In their weekly "Race to the MVP" feature, the league's website has dubbed the following ten players the most superawesome (in reverse order):

10. Steve Nash, PG, Mikey's Roofies
9. Dwight Howard, FC, Moop Resurrected
8. Yao Ming, C, The Misers
7. Tim Duncan, FC, Mama Looch
6. Kobe Bryant, SG, Yom Kippur at Joel's
5. Allen Iverson, G, Cardiff Giant
4. Chris Paul, PG, The Misers
3. Tracy McGrady, GF, Cardiff Giant
2. Carlos Boozer, FC, Cardiff Giant
1. Kevin Garnett, PF, Best Team Ever

Self serving post? You're goddamned right it is. Now someone trade me some fucking blocks and rebounds already, A-Holes.

Better Power Rankings

Brought to you by Fred "Ogre" Palowalski.


#1 - The Flux (3)
So far, so good. The Flux went with solid all-around guys like Marion and Rashard Lewis, and ranks no lower than 7th in any single category on the season. The Vinsane injury will hurt, but role players like Rondo and Kaman will ease the blow. Heck, Theo Ratliff is averaging 3.5 blocks. So far, this team is charmed.

#2 - Moop Resurrected (2)
Lots of points and rebounds, which is telling. I think this team remains strong throughout the season due to depth – an injury would not derail the Moop because he’s got back-ups at every position, including 3 workable C’s. RJ and Kmart are still tearing shit up. Still, it’s gonna take more than points and rebounds.

#3 - Mikey's Roofies (7)
OK, my team is awesome. There’s no point in being modest anymore.

#4 - Mighty Mullets (1)
Yi’s Drunk Midgets! No? How about Yi’s Drunk Mullets? I still like Danny Granger, and I see a big stretch coming up for Pau Gasol. Still, any manager that holds on to Zaza Pachulia through injury is questionable in my book.

#5 - Cardiff Giant (10)
A solid week from the Giant. However, if your only source of blocks is Brendan Haywood, you might be looking to upgrade at ‘C’.

#6 - Mama Looch (2)
First an up week, then a down week for Andrea B. Duncan, Bosh, and Okafor still look like the best set of C’s in Mr. League, though. Jason Terry should come back down to earth soon.

#7 - Blue Balls (6)
Has only one player averaging less than 13.5ppg (Tinsley). Still, it sounds like Agent Zero’s having some issues, he’ll need to come back strong to right this ship.

#8 - Loser's Row (8)
So far it’s almost a dead heat between Marbury and Josh Smith for asshole of the year.

#9 - The Misers (12)
I know it was a big week for the Mazoors, but I just can’t move up a team that has Wally, Udonis, Kyle Lowry, and Mike Dunleavy on its roster. Talk about a bunch of scrubs.

#10 - The Burning Sensation (9)
Sounds like Wade is close. Peja has proven that sometimes he doesn't suck.

#11 - Best Team Ever (11)
Garnett still dominates, but Iguodala averaging 5 TO’s? Ugh. Aldridge and Barbosa are good and improving, but this team leaves a lot to be desired.

#12 - Yom Kippur at Joel's (10)
The Ron Artest era begins now. We all know what Kobe does, but Kevin Durant is proving he will be a star in the league, and Shaq still has some tank left in the gas. Sign #64 your team might be in trouble: Joel Przybilla leads your squad in boards.

Wager of the Night

As is tradition in Mr. League, nothing is settled without raised voices, politically incorrect insults and a burning desire to rip out the other person's eyes and skull-fuck their head. So instead we often resort to bets to resolve our disputes. The anger instantly dissolves and is quickly replaced by all-knowing goofy grins and the inner-Jew greed, not for the idea of more money coming my way mind you, but as a vehicle for proving my fantasy basketball knowledge is superior to all others. Cause that's what life is all about, bro.

This morning, Never Won made a bold and incorrect proclamation (as is his norm) that he had the best lineup going tonight. Knowing I too had a fully, I instantly disagreed. Sniffing a chance to prove my superiority, I used the one word that guaranteed a bet would be forthcoming. See if you can spot the word. Here is the conversation and resulting wager:

Never Won: just look at my lineup tonight
best lineup going

BTE: aren't you proud?
way to jinx it
I would argue mine is stronger

Never Won: lemme check

BTE: but i see it's your top 8
i'm not sure if this is my top 8 or not
but i am so better

Never Won: 0 chance your 8 tonight is better than my 8

BTE: should we bet on it?
i will win 5 or more cats
i don't even remember who you have tonight and it doesn't matter
let's bet
pussy

Never Won: tonight?
i'm down
20 bucks
blog it

With the bet in place, it was time to spew more smack talk:

Never Won: YAAAA
you are so fucked

BTE: your overconfidence amuses me
you have no chance

Never Won: YOU HAVE NO SHOT
HAVE YOU SEEN MY LINEUP
i might get 100 rebounds tonight
new record

BTE: not a new record
my team isn't a slouch when it comes to rebounds. i do have the best rebounder in the league

Never Won: i have the best rebounder in the league!
i feel another bet coming on!

BTE: sorry bro
KG has proved it year after year
Chandler was second last year -- and you didn't even know it

Never Won: TRUE THAT BRO!
i knew the other top 5

BTE: if a guy so much as sneezes on my team, i know it


Pumpkin Head didn't even realize his player was top 5 in rebounding when asked by The Misers the other night...

The lineups:

Never Won:

PG Raymond Felton
SG Manu Ginobili
G Stephon Marbury
SF Josh Smith
PF David Lee
F Paul Pierce
C Amare Stoudemire
C Tyson Chandler

Best Team Ever:

PG Joe Johnson
SG Monta Ellis
G Leandro Barbosa
SF Andre Iguodala
PF Kevin Garnett
F Ike Diogu
C Andris Biedrins
C LaMarcus Aldridge

Weigh in with who will in the comments. Cause interacting is fun!

Week 2 Positional Rankings

Since the Week 1 Positional Rankings were such a success and led to three hits from Google Blog Search, and not because I'm required to fill out these rankings for my other fantasy basketball blog DroppingDimes.com, BTE presents the Week 2 Positional Rankings (even though some teams haven't played a game yet -- this intense motherfucker finally debuts tonight!!) .

Question of the day: How many Google Blog Search hits does this lead to? The over/under is set at 3.

Games:

4 Atlanta Hawks
4 Charlotte Bobcats
4 Cleveland Cavaliers
4 Denver Nuggets
4 Houston Rockets
4 Los Angeles Clippers
4 New Orleans Hornets
4 Orlando Magic
4 Phoenix Suns
4 San Antonio Spurs
4 Seattle Supersonics
4 Toronto Raptors

3 Boston Celtics
3 Chicago Bulls
3 Dallas Mavericks
3 Detroit Pistons
3 Indiana Pacers
3 Memphis Grizzlies
3 Miami Heat
3 Milwaukee Bucks
3 Minnesota Timberwolves
3 New Jersey Nets
3 New York Knicks
3 Philadelphia 76ers
3 Portland Trailblazers
3 Sacramento Kings
3 Utah Jazz
3 Wahington Wizards

2 Golden State Warriors
2 Los Angeles Lakers

Point Guards:

1 Steve Nash
2 Chris Paul
3 Gilbert Arenas
4 Deron Williams
5 Jason Kidd
6 Allen Iverson
7 Chauncey Billups
8 T.J. Ford
9 Earl Watson
10 Jameer Nelson
11 Leandro Barbosa
12 Raymond Felton
13 Kirk Hinrich
14 Tony Parker
15 Maurice Williams
16 Andre Miller
17 Jamaal Tinsley
18 Larry Hughes
19 Baron Davis
20 Stephon Marbury
21 Devin Harris
22 Jason Williams
23 Rajon Rondo
24 Sam Cassell
25 Rafer Alston

Shooting Guards:


1 Tracy McGrady
2 Vince Carter
3 Joe Johnson
4 Manu Ginobli
5 Jason Richardson
6 Kevin Martin
7 Michael Redd
8 Brandon Roy
9 Ray Allen
10 Kobe Bryant
11 Mike Miller
12 Jason Terry
13 Ben Gordon
14 Raja Bell
15 Ricky Davis
16 Anthony Parker
17 Richard Hamilton
18 Ronnie Brewer
19 Wally Szczerbiak
20 Kyle Korver
21 Mike Dunleavy
22 Morris Peterson
23 Jamal Crawford
24 Cuttino Mobley
25 Monta Ellis

Small Forwards:


1 LeBron James
2 Josh Smith
3 Rashard Lewis
4 Gerald Wallace
5 Corey Maggette
6 Andre Iguodala
7 Paul Pierce
8 Carmelo Anthony
9 Luol Deng
10 Caron Butler
11 Kevin Durant
12 Peja Stojakovic
13 Danny Granger
14 Andrei Kirilenko
15 Richard Jefferson
16 Hedo Turkoglu
17 Grant Hill
18 Tim Thomas
19 Rudy Gay
20 Josh Howard
21 Shane Battier
22 Jason Kapono
23 Josh Childress
24 Tayshaun Prince
25 Ruben Patterson

Power Forwards:


1 Kevin Garnett
2 Dirk Nowitzki
3 Shawn Marion
4 David West
5 LaMarcus Aldridge
6 Antawn Jamison
7 Chris Wilcox
8 Zach Randolph
9 Rasheed Wallace
10 Drew Gooden
11 Nick Collison
12 Al Horford
13 Boris Diaw
14 Darko Milicic
15 Tyrus Thomas
16 Al Thornton
17 Walter Herrmann
18 Al Harrington
19 Nene Hilario
20 Chuck Hayes
21 Marvin Williams
22 Udonis Haslem
23 Reggie Evans
24 Jason Maxiell
25 David Lee

Centers:

1 Yao Ming
2 Amare Stoudemire
3 Dwight Howard
4 Marcus Camby
5 Tim Duncan
6 Chris Bosh
7 Tyson Chandler
8 Pau Gasol
9 Al Jefferson
10 Carlos Boozer
11 Jermaine O'Neal
12 Andrea Bargnani
13 Emeka Okafor
14 Zydrunas Ilguaskas
15 Mehmet Okur
16 Brad Miller
17 Samuel Dalembert
18 Ben Wallace
19 Andrew Bogut
20 Chris Kaman
21 Shaquille O'Neal
22 Nenad Krstic
23 Andris Biedrins
24 Antonio McDyess
25 Andrew Bynum

Free base, it's in your neighborhood!