It's good to see maturity is at an all-time high

Last night a drunk Loser's Row came home around midnight and spent a good 15 minutes yelling the stats of players back and forth with The Misers from their respective rooms.

This did not please Cardiff Giant, already sequestered in his room for the evening.

Loser's Row found this display uproariously funny.

Is there any surprise he has players like John Salmons on his team?

From the Sacramento Bee (I would link to the article but it's behind a stupid subscriber sign-up wall):

Ron Artest returned for the Kings on Wednesday, forcing John Salmons to come off the bench. If his post-game tantrum (leaving the locker room early, storming past reporters and pacing the hallway in frustration) is any indication, he's not happy with the demotion.

Signs your team may be in trouble #72

When one of your best players has to be restrained from fighting his teammates, during the game.

From RotoWorld:

The Detroit News reports, "During the Hawks' game against the Pistons, [Josh Smith] was yelling at teammate Tyronn Lue because he wasn't passing him the ball enough. He yelled at coach Mike Woodson to get Lue out of the game and had to be restrained by coaches and teammates. When he did get the ball, he often broke plays to get off his own shot."

The article speculated that Smith could be a negative influence on the team, and for a team as young as the Hawks', he certainly isn't a role model. He is, however, a fantastic athlete and an elite fantasy force, so play him every week, bad vibes or not.

Rock on with your potentially-suspended-at-any-moment self JSmoove.

The Origin of Loser's Row

NeverWon has had a lot of different team names over the years:

The White Dykes
SexOffenderRegistry
Cats and Doggs
Ming Dynasty
Balls Deep

But last year, after some intense self-reflection (and, as usual, some self-loathing), I finally settled on a name that did the best job describing my team than any name I had used previously.

LOSER'S ROW

If I recall correctly, it was a night last season not unlike last night when Loser's Row was born. I had spent the day eagerly emailing with the Mighty Mullets in anticipation of what I thought would be a huge night. Like last night I was putting the proverbial "best foot forward", well, forward. And just like last night, my team proved to be less of a team than I thought. Indeed, my team proved to be less of a man than I thought.

Out of the ashes of this conflagration of fantasy putridity was born Loser's Row. How better to describe David Lee last night. Or Manu Ginobili. Or Amare Stoudemire. Once again when all the chips were in the middle of the table, my team folded like a third roll of stomach fat. Like a bunch of Losers...

To quoth the Weasel: "Hence Loser's Row."

Roll Mr. League VII

Professionally speaking, I manage the distribution of hundreds of millions of dollars. Nevertheless, I spent all day today thinking about what product Dirkilicious uses in his hair before road games.

Then, the Foye news hit. It took all of my strength not to drop him. The only thing that is keeping Foye on my team right now is the absolute certainty that if I drop him, I have borrowed a play from Never Won's playbook (a/k/a Loser's Row). If Foye hits the waiver wire, Mikey's Roofies will definitely pick him up. I don't want to get Roofied.

Can this season start already? PLEASE!

Roll Mullets