Showing posts with label Mama Looch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mama Looch. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

How Not to Blog

I am the king of not blogging.

This may seem oxymoronic (or just moronic) considering I started this blog and also write for another one – The Flux has a love/hate relationship with DroppingDimes.com – but it is 100 percent true. I like the idea of blogging. I often come up with ideas to write about. I help others with their blog posts. I have even made notes for a post on more than one occasion this week but for whatever reason, I don’t finish the post. This drives Never Won crazy to no end. Perhaps this is why I never post…

But as bad as I am by not blogging, there are others who are far worse because they do blog. Prime Example A is Orlando Sentinel reporter and Orlando Magic “blogger” – I use that term more loosely than Moop’s prick uses a Magnum condom – Brian Schmitz. You see, Schmitz has a "Magic Basketblog" that I used yesterday because it contained information on my PG Jameer Nelson. I was debating starting Nelson or Monta Ellis, who Don Nelson in his infinite senile wisdom decided to deem him the backup PG that day. That should last about as long as the 12th man on The Misers roster.



Anywho, this is what Schmitz wrote at 12:59 p.m.:

"Point guard Jameer Nelson will play, although his mouth is still sore after taking an elbow to the face from Bo Outlaw that knocked him a little silly."

Since this was the first mention of this incident on the entire internet, I figured it wasn't a big deal -- especially since he clearly states Jameeracle will play. As a result, after not seeing any new info by 6pm, I made my decision to go with the starter in Nelson and reserve Ellis for the evening and promptly went to dinner.

Upon arriving home fully satitated and partially intoxicated, I fired up StatTracker per the norm. To my surprise and quickly escalating hate, I was rudely greeted with the word "Bench" next to Nelson's name, which as most fantasy basketball players know is roughly equivolent to getting ass-raped by a baseball bat -- sideways. So not only was I forced to stare at Nelson's name on my starting roster, but I then couldn't fully enjoy watching Monta Ellis explode for 22 points (3-4 3PT), 6 boards, 3 steals and 2 blocks as he wallowed away on my bench. Now couple this with my opponent MAMA LOOCH suffering through what was easily the worst night of the season and begin to feel my frustration. (LOOCH, you should blog about Bosh, Okafor and Bargnani combining for 6 points, 12 rebounds, 1 block and 5 TOs.)

Not knowing how Nelson couldn't have played after reading Schmitz's blog, I checked it again looking for a late breaking update I might have missed between 6 and 6:55pm -- the last time I could make a substitution to my lineup in time for the 7pm game. This is what I saw:

"Magic point guard Jameer Nelson is suffering from concussion-like symptoms and will be held out of tonight's game against the Minnesota Timberwolves as a precaution. Nelson was inadvertently hit in the jaw by teammate Bo Outlaw in Monday's practice and woke up Tuesday with a slight headache. General Manager Otis Smith said the team made the game-time decision because Nelson had sustained a concussion 13 months ago in training camp in Jacksonville, colliding with teammate Dwight Howard in a scrimmage."

Post time: 7:11 pm.

Thanks for blogging, Schmuck, er, Schmitz. You're a real pro.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Pilgrimage

Several times a year, BTE and the Mighty Mullets board a train in Philadelphia to make the obligatory pilgrimage to Mr. League Central.

Mr. League Central is hallowed grounds. Located at 14th Street and Avenue A, it is the storied sight of some the greatest moments in Mr. League history.

Stuy Town, as it is known, ushered in the auction era and continues to chronicle Mr. League auction history as the official archive of “the sheets.”

It is where The Misers stabbed the Mullets in the back like a modern day Brutus.

During the Mr. League VI auction weekend, the first ever official trophy awarding ceremony took place. It was gingerly passed from The Misers to Mama Looch and finally to The Mullets. That was back when BTE still had an asterisk next to his name which has since been moved to the Misers.

Mr. League Central is where "the bet" between Never Won and Mama Looch was executed. It continues today as an inflation adjusted wager that Never Won will never win.

During the Mr. League V auction, Flux introduced the most sophisticated draft/auction algorithm this side of a Bangladesh call center. Today it is known simply as The Matrix (oops, sorry Shawn).

Mr. League Central is where Weasel a/k/a Yom Kippur at Joel’s paved a bold new path on auction bidding by jumping $20 on an injured Amare Stoudamire. Today that theory has morphed into the “introduce-high” approach to auctioning.

Three of Mr. League’s most dedicated competitors live there as keepers. It started with Never Won, then the Misers moved in and now Cardeef calls it home. The three of them, like Knights of the Fantasy Hardwood.

Each trip to Mr. League Central is different, but each always includes Croc Lounge, Super Smash Brothers (Kirby Laugh), yelling and fantasy basketball.

And, most importantly, a shitload of stat tracker.

Five days until the pilgrimage.

Roll Mullets.