Questions of questions

As we prepare to make our partial league trip to the Izod Center to watch the Nets get crushed by yet another annoying and cocky Boston sports franschise, several questions swirl around inside my head:

- how many players can I pick up off the waiver wire that I will loath within the following 48 hours?

- when, oh god, will Chris Kaman's agreement with Satan expire?

- can I get The Flux to trade him to me in exchange for Plaxico Burress?

- is it weird that, as I type these words, Never Won is standing behind me pretending to hump my door in his boxers?

- why is my team so good and yours so bad?

Also, The Miser is wasted--WASTED!--and we haven't even left for the game yet. Thought the Weasel would enjoy that tidbit.

Introducing The Flux

In an effort to familiarize our readers with the members of Best League Ever, we asked each team to fill out a survey. The answers that follow here (and in all future profiles) are from that survey.

Side note: Since our "readers" are almost exclusively Best League Ever members, this feels a bit like "allow myself to introduce myself." In any case...

For those of you who don't know Flux, you are in for a treat. You see Flux is a conundrum. He's not really a sports fan. He's more a fan of sports. He likes the competition but doesn't care about the game. He likes betting on sports and watching games but you never get the sense that he really cares one way or the other about the outcome.

That's always been true about his Best League Ever participation. Well, except for the part about watching games. We're not sure Flux could pick any of his players out of a lineup or even knows what team they play for. But he loves participating in Best League Ever and for that we, in turn, love him.

(As previously mentioned this dedication to fantasy hoops seems to have been jacked up to a new level this year, but the jury is still out on how honest this new found dedication is or how strong it would be if Flux wasn't in 1st place after week 1. Also, please note that his answer to "Best fantasy move you ever made" is actually a move he made in our FOOTBALL league).

To Flux's credit, he does have one hell of a draft Excel sheet which he's dubbed "The Matrix."

So without further adieu, let's meet Flux:

Team Name: The Flux
Personal Nickname(s): Greenie, Eugene, Gene, Teenie
Hometown: Merrick (Egyptian Heritage)
Current Residence: Manhattan, the capital of the world
Occupation(s): Real Estate Mogul wanabee, Engineer behind The Matrix
Biggest pet peeve about Mr. League: I don’t have access at work
Do you use the Watch List: ????
Most important stat or piece of info for evaluating players: Whatever THE MATRIX tells me (unless its Kobe Bryant/Shawn Marion and then I add 20)

Word Association:

Fantasy basketball: I Love This Game
StatTracker: addict
Auction: Where Amazing Happens
Michigan: Hail to the victors
League Pass: No chance
Blog: Keeps my occupied during the credit crunch
Mr. League: You should have one
Facebook: stalker
League Freak: N/A
Strawberry: Banana
Misers: MY BITCH

And the one thing that really sums up Flux:

Last major purchase: Cartier Roadster

Hooray for BLE

Thus far, this new toy has given many of us a candied oasis tucked neatly into the folds of the otherwise dreadful desert of our weekdays. It provides some of us with a sounding board for fantasy chat, others with a haven for launching otherwise hopeless writing careers, but most of us enjoy it as an outlet from our unwelcome adultness. Some could even say it acts as a portal to the joys we all had during our days at Ole Big Blue. Which is why the following should come as no surprise:

Domain Name: bankofamerica.com
Visit Time : 12:41:52 pm
Page Views: 20
Visit Length: 274:00

Flux Evolution

The Flux is a conflicted beast.

He is someone who has threatened at various times to leave the league. He is someone who wanted to split is team this year with another manager. He is someone who last year refused to even order StatTracker until Cardeef, his roommate at the time, caught him sneaking looks at it on Cardeef's computer.

But Flux is slowly coming around; his passion for fantasy hoops is like a little caterpillar just waiting for the cocoon to grow. One day we will make him a butterfly.

That day may be sooner than we think. Witness his excitement over our full lineups tonight as well as his attempt to get a free subscription to League Pass:

I can't wait...I'll be right next to the computer

Just so you know, I was on the phone with the cable company last night because the new DVR boxes are so terrible and I've finally had it with the problems its caused. When they told me they would be patching the problems shortly I asked them if they would credit my account with anything. They said they would take off the DVR service from my bill for the month and give me a premium channel for free for a month. I asked for the NBA Package. They said No. I was upset.

The Pilgrimage

Several times a year, BTE and the Mighty Mullets board a train in Philadelphia to make the obligatory pilgrimage to Mr. League Central.

Mr. League Central is hallowed grounds. Located at 14th Street and Avenue A, it is the storied sight of some the greatest moments in Mr. League history.

Stuy Town, as it is known, ushered in the auction era and continues to chronicle Mr. League auction history as the official archive of “the sheets.”

It is where The Misers stabbed the Mullets in the back like a modern day Brutus.

During the Mr. League VI auction weekend, the first ever official trophy awarding ceremony took place. It was gingerly passed from The Misers to Mama Looch and finally to The Mullets. That was back when BTE still had an asterisk next to his name which has since been moved to the Misers.

Mr. League Central is where "the bet" between Never Won and Mama Looch was executed. It continues today as an inflation adjusted wager that Never Won will never win.

During the Mr. League V auction, Flux introduced the most sophisticated draft/auction algorithm this side of a Bangladesh call center. Today it is known simply as The Matrix (oops, sorry Shawn).

Mr. League Central is where Weasel a/k/a Yom Kippur at Joel’s paved a bold new path on auction bidding by jumping $20 on an injured Amare Stoudamire. Today that theory has morphed into the “introduce-high” approach to auctioning.

Three of Mr. League’s most dedicated competitors live there as keepers. It started with Never Won, then the Misers moved in and now Cardeef calls it home. The three of them, like Knights of the Fantasy Hardwood.

Each trip to Mr. League Central is different, but each always includes Croc Lounge, Super Smash Brothers (Kirby Laugh), yelling and fantasy basketball.

And, most importantly, a shitload of stat tracker.

Five days until the pilgrimage.

Roll Mullets.

Martell Webster

8:27 in the First Quarter. BTE is packing the first bowl of the Mr. League VII season and declares that Martell Webster will be the first player picked up. My guess, Flux will pull the trigger. What do you think?

Fear and Loathing in FantasyLand

In an ideal world, I would like to have our League's auction on the weekend before the games starts.

Why?

1) It helps limit your exposure to inflated pre-season stats.
2) It helps limit the number of times a day you refresh Rotoworld at work, thereby ensuring your continued employment.
3) It helps limit the onset of Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing.

Allow me to explain. This year I finally got my act together for the auction -- no small feat considering my atrocious 2005 and 2006 results. I left Chicago (the site of this year's auction) feeling content, optimistic, and slightly, if prematurely, cocky.

Here's NeverWon's roster as currently constructed:

Raymond Felton
(Cha - PG,SG)

Manu Ginobili
(SA - SG)

Paul Pierce
(Bos - SG,SF)

Josh Smith
(Atl - SG,SF)

David Lee
(NY - SF,PF)

Josh Childress
(Atl - SG,SF)

Amare Stoudemire
(Pho - C)

Tyson Chandler
(NO - C)

Stephon Marbury
(NY - PG)

Steve Francis
(Hou - PG)

Robert Swift
(Sea - C)

Tayshaun Prince
(Det - SF)

Given the state of my core 3 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove), my core 5 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove, Ginobili, Chandler), and my core 8 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove, Ginobili, Chandler, Felton, Lee, Childress) I feel relatively confident that my typically savvy in-season moves will give me the firepower to contend. For more on the concept of the "Core," click here.

But then Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing sets in.

It starts slowly. An article here about Robert Swift not playing the second night of back-to-backs. An article there about Steve Francis being out of shape and not grasping Rick Adelman's offence.

"But they aren't my core players" you say to anyone who will listen. It doesn't matter.

Fast forward to Saturday night at your local bar where the Flux is explaining how great his fantasy team is. Ahh, time for taking, you think!

Except then you say you Core 5 out loud.

"Amare"
"Pierce"
"Josh Smith"
"Chandler"
"Ummmmm, Ginobili?"

A steak-dinner bet later (most wins in the regular season) and you've got a case of full Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing.

The only balm? More Josh Smith!

That feels better. Sort of.