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NBA.com created some cool widgets for blogs like Best League Ever!

Here's Paul Pierce:



Get yours today!

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

Weasel: Wow – Rick Davis to the Heat….interesting….who has him, Looch right?

MamaLooch: indeed

Cardeef: sorry Looch...KILLS his value

MamaLooch: I tend to disagree

NeverWon: As a life rule, that’s for certain.

Dear Rotoworld

I use Rotoworld for my daily fantasy basketball research needs. They do a nice job of aggregating headlines from around the country and displaying them in a quickly digestible format.

But their "analysis" sucks.

You see, they don't have any reporters of their own (unless you count Dr. A., and I don't). So they feel the need to add some "color" or "analysis" to their collection of headlines. This leads them to post mostly off-the-wall proclamations.

Witness this "analysis" of this morning's news that Memphis named Mighty Mouse their starter and pre-season triple-dipper Kyle Lowry as the backup.

Now, any rational fantasy basketball observer would probably say "geez, I guess that kills Mike Conley Jr.'s value. Not only is he a rookie point guard, but he's a third string rookie point guard."

But not Rotoworld! They went with "While owners shouldn't panic and dump Conley just yet, this announcement does raise a red flag."

That's the type of in-depth analysis I've come to love from Rotoworld. I sure wouldn't panic if one of my rookie point guards was just named third string. Nope, not me. I'm a much more cautious type of fantasy player for sure. Is Kobe available on waivers? I might make a move on him.

Hey I've Got An Idea...Let's Rank Stuff

Just when you thought we had beaten these post-auction, pre-season numbers within an inch of their boring fucking lives, JD came up with a doozy: how much more/less did each team's players go for this year compared to last year's auction? We hypothesized on the auction's importance to the overall success of the team and, though imperfect, the system yielded some interesting results.

For fairness, we weeded out players whose auction values were significantly altered by injury either this year or last (as identified by asterisks). But enough bullshittery, let's get to some more meaningless rankings.

Rank. Team: Difference (Last Year's Finish)

12. Blue Balls: -90 (9th place)

11. Moop: -83 (11th place)

10. Mama Looch: -81 (12th place)

9. The Misers: -52 (10th place)

8. Yom Kippur: -24 (6th place)

7. Mighty Mullets*: -6 (4th place)

6. TheBurningSenstation: +2 (5th place)

5. Loser's Row**: +4 (7th place)

4. Mikey's Roofies***: +53 (2nd place)

3. Best Team Ever: +55 (1st place)

2. The Flux: +64 (8th place)

1. Cardiff Giant: +81 (3rd place)

* - Wade went for significantly less this year (according to JD) due to his injury
** - Brand went for far less this year due to his injury
*** - Gasol went for far less last year due to injury

Is Glen Taylor a Fantasy Basketball Junkie?

He must be. Check these comments about why he's reluctant to pay Al Jefferson before the season starts:

"I'm just a little hesitant that he's only had one good year," Taylor said. "We got taken by Mike James. Mike had a really good year, so we paid him the max we could under the rules, and he sure didn't come back and perform anywhere at that level."

I feel you Glen, I feel you.

Roll Mullets

By Mighty Mullets, Special guest contributor

What is the best way to cheer for your team? That's simple. "Roll Mullets?" Why "Roll"? That's simple too.

I grew up in SEC country watching teams like Georgia, Auburn and Alabama...as in, the Crimson Tide. If you don't know what I am talking about, SEC country is the underneath part of America where schools still teach the bible and the first commandment goes a little something like this: "I am the lord your god, and SEC football is my preferred sport."

Here's a nice little anecdote. Once upon a time, Never Won and I were playing a game called "If I couldn't go to the University of Michigan, I would go to ____________." His answer was the University of Texas. Wrong. The correct answer is LSU. Go figure, Never Won didn't win.

Back to my original lesson. I have humbly adapted the University of Alabama's "Roll Tide" to fantasy basketball. And, you know what, I think it works better for fantasy basketball, thank you.

Let me prove this point by example:

Roll Mullets

Roll Krstic

Roll Best League Ever

Roll Stat Tracker

Roll Left Foot Pivot (I guess this isn't basketball related, but given Never Won's persistent bathroom issues, I decided it was worth mentioning)

Roll with me

A Tree Grows in Atlanta

I have no statistical evidence of this, but one of my rules of fantasy basketball is "Don't take players who just signed a big contract." Some examples -- Peja, Jerome James, Brian Cardinal. Contracts in the NBA are guaranteed so that slight ankle sprain tends to hurt a lot more when you've got 5 years, $50 million wrapped up.

For some perspective, one of my life rules is "Don't worry about wiping your ass if you're just going to take a shower right after." But that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, why take a guy who just signed a huge deal when you can take a guy in a contract year (the proverbial, it's-cool-if-a-little-gets-on-your-leg-because-you're-in-the-shower-anyway clause)?

So this year when I drafted Josh Smith, I was not-so-secretly hoping that the Hawks didn't extend him before October 31, thereby making him a restricted free agent at the end of the year. Contract year, baby!

And wouldn't you know, the worst franchise in the league just decided not to sign their potential franchise player on the future before the October 31 deadline. Here's to hoping they don't lock up Childress either. That just would make too much sense to a club that passed on CP3 and Deron Williams and then drafted forwards 3 years in a row.

I also noticed that Smith's agent's last name is Dyke. Hehehehe.

The Lone Other Obsession

Judging by the utter lack of work done in the last few weeks, especially post-auction this year, I am entirely consumed by everything fantasy basketball related. All waking and some unconscious moments are focused exclusively on my team, the league, this blog or the basic necessities (eating, huffing glue, etc.). Or so I thought.

Then I caught wind of a juicy rumor and boy did it smell of sweet deliciousness, unlike NeverWon’s infamous “Round 2” return trips to the throne when he’s feeling especially nervous. Word on the street is that Nintendo is primed to release a video game for its Wii platform that every single member of Mr. League wasted hours blistering our thumbs upon during the years in the frat house. That’s right; what will undoubtedly be the world’s greatest video game is set for release on February 10, 2008 – just in time for the dreaded All-Star break and its four days of fantasy basketball deprivation.

Now I don’t rock a Viking hat and clock necklace ensemble nor am I darker than burnt charcoal as Sanch's "cousin" Jeffrey Ross states, so I’m going to stop hyping this jawn up like I’m Flavor Flav. Without any further delay, I present the Best Game Ever:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah Boooooooooooooyyyyyy!!!!!

Who Is That Masked Man?

Thoughts on a proposed logo?

Fear and Loathing in FantasyLand

In an ideal world, I would like to have our League's auction on the weekend before the games starts.

Why?

1) It helps limit your exposure to inflated pre-season stats.
2) It helps limit the number of times a day you refresh Rotoworld at work, thereby ensuring your continued employment.
3) It helps limit the onset of Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing.

Allow me to explain. This year I finally got my act together for the auction -- no small feat considering my atrocious 2005 and 2006 results. I left Chicago (the site of this year's auction) feeling content, optimistic, and slightly, if prematurely, cocky.

Here's NeverWon's roster as currently constructed:

Raymond Felton
(Cha - PG,SG)

Manu Ginobili
(SA - SG)

Paul Pierce
(Bos - SG,SF)

Josh Smith
(Atl - SG,SF)

David Lee
(NY - SF,PF)

Josh Childress
(Atl - SG,SF)

Amare Stoudemire
(Pho - C)

Tyson Chandler
(NO - C)

Stephon Marbury
(NY - PG)

Steve Francis
(Hou - PG)

Robert Swift
(Sea - C)

Tayshaun Prince
(Det - SF)

Given the state of my core 3 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove), my core 5 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove, Ginobili, Chandler), and my core 8 (Amare, Pierce, J Smoove, Ginobili, Chandler, Felton, Lee, Childress) I feel relatively confident that my typically savvy in-season moves will give me the firepower to contend. For more on the concept of the "Core," click here.

But then Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing sets in.

It starts slowly. An article here about Robert Swift not playing the second night of back-to-backs. An article there about Steve Francis being out of shape and not grasping Rick Adelman's offence.

"But they aren't my core players" you say to anyone who will listen. It doesn't matter.

Fast forward to Saturday night at your local bar where the Flux is explaining how great his fantasy team is. Ahh, time for taking, you think!

Except then you say you Core 5 out loud.

"Amare"
"Pierce"
"Josh Smith"
"Chandler"
"Ummmmm, Ginobili?"

A steak-dinner bet later (most wins in the regular season) and you've got a case of full Fantasy Basketball Fear and Loathing.

The only balm? More Josh Smith!

That feels better. Sort of.

Is there anybody out there?

Growing up there was always that longing desire to be an adult already. As college ended, the longing inverted and I only wished I could be young again. For some reason now, the only longing I have anymore is for the fucking regular season to fucking start all-fucking-ready.

If sitting at home on a Friday night is pathetic, how would one characterize sitting at home on a Friday night to watch 30-second refreshes of pre-season box scores?

GODDAMN YOU JAMAAL MAGLOIRE GRAB SOME FUCKING BOARDS!

An Intro to The Burning Sensation

Allow me to interrupt our regularly scheduled fellation of Josh Smith for a brief introduction to the man that is The Burning Sensation.



Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Measuring Talent

Well well well, the Cardiff Giant has finally revealed to one and all his glorious strategy for securing himself a playoff birth. We should all be better off having had this glimpse into the psyche of a delicate genuis. I mean, just look at these commandments: (1) Thou Shalt Be Consistent, (2) Thou Shalt Command Thine Offense, (3) Thou Shalt Be Unique, (4) Thou Shalt Overcome Thine Mistakes, and (5) Thou Shalt Be Secure In Thineself. Essentially the Giant One reccomends fantasy studs, for those are the masters of consistency, the ones who command offenses, are undeniably unique, learn from their mistakes, and stay healthy.

Bearing these principles in mind, let's review Cardiff's band of merry play-makers:

Allen Iverson
(Den - PG,SG)
Ray Allen
(Bos - SG)
Baron Davis
(GS - PG)
Tracy McGrady
(Hou - SG,SF)
Carlos Boozer
(Uta - PF,C)
Boris Diaw
(Pho - PF,C)
Brendan Haywood
(Was - C)
Eddy Curry
(NY - C)
Marco Belinelli
(GS - PG,SG)
Morris Peterson
(NO - SG,SF)
Jamaal Magloire
(NJ - C)
Jason Maxiell
(Det - SF,PF)

Whoa!!!! It appears that in the Cardiff's quest to heed his own advice, he neglected to stock his team with 12 solid contributors. In their stead, he has two stud guards, two former studs who now violate commandment 5 so often they may as well douche with holy water in repentence, a big man who totaled 21 blocks and 194 turnovers last season, the worst man alive (I'm looking at you Eddie) last year's largest dissappointment and 5 nobodies...save for Maxiell who has talent, but no real playing time as yet.

T-Mac is more injury prone than my cousin who couldn't jump on the bed as a kid because of something called "brittle bone syndrome." This is not to mention the fact that Houston's offense is less and less being run through him. And Ray Allen, one of my favorite ballers, may see his role change significantly now that he's sharing the rock with Pierce and Garnett. Seriously, their touches should eat into his numbers the same way my Aunt Carol used to feast at a Chinese buffet.

Recall that the league is an auction format with daily changes. This means that even when Cardiff has all of his players going, 2 spots are gauranteed to be filled by wastes of space. Couple this for when Baron and Tracy inevitably miss half their season with knee/back/menstral problems and the Cardiff has the makings of a failing squad. And what about the nights when his 4 players going are named Brendan, Morris, Marco and Jamaal. Should any opponent fear their numbers?

Now, let's briefly examine a team the good lord accuses of being run by someone incapable of evaluating talent: The Moop. Moop took a different strategy at the auction. While most teams busied themselves like Cardiff and over-loaded on two or three "studs," Moop sought to balance his entire team to maximize total contribution. The result:

Tony Parker
(SA - PG)
Michael Redd
(Mil - SG,SF)
Mo Williams
(Mil - PG)
Lamar Odom
(LAL - SF,PF)
Zach Randolph
(NY - PF)
Jason Richardson
(Cha - SG,SF)
Dwight Howard
(Orl - C)
Mehmet Okur
(Uta - PF,C)
Kevin Martin
(Sac - SG)
Richard Jefferson
(NJ - SF)
Brad Miller
(Sac - C)
Grant Hill
(Pho - SG,SF)

OK. So Grant Hill is going to last maybe 6 games. Pheonix obviously thinks he'll last longer. But look at the other 11. They are all ranked in Yahoo's top 100, with the majority landing between 29-71. There is no one that screams "useless" or "drop me now as I'm completely expendable." In fact, each member of Team Moop (save Hill) is fully tradeable, either on their own or packaged with a fellow Moopster.

When team Moop's president was contacted for comment about the Cardiff's remarks, he quickly replied, "Hmmmm, seems silly considering Cardiff spent most of the auction sitting around lamenting how he had no money left to buy bargain players. I guess there's never been a clearer case of someone blowing his wad so early. Is it possible to have the fantasy equivalent of penis envy AND premature ejaculation???"

The point is that there are 3 general approaches to fantasy success. First, go for the studs and, when you've run out of money, try to find enough roll players and play the waiver wire all season. Second, go the way of the Moop, avoid any real top 20 talent, but have no one on your team that you'd drop without wincing a bit. The third approach, of course, is to achieve a balance between the first two.

It is my humble submission that the team that wins it all this year is the squad that best achieves that overall balance. Too many nobodies, and you're wasting time whenever your studs aren't on the floor or they're hurt. Too many steady-eddies, and you'll miss those glorious nights when a guy like Kobe drops 50 like its nothing. Last year's winner had that balance, with guys like Dirk, Arenas, J. Smith, G. Wallace, Hinrich and Barbosa surrounded by 6 other steady contributors. This year, I humbly submit its me.

Reason #27 For Having A Lock On My Door

I am the Lord your God

Last night, The Miser and I were discussing segments of this theory that I came up with a few years ago when writing for Dime, so I figured I’d throw it up here as my first contribution.

Bottom line, some of you idiots have no clue how to value a player (Moop, I’m looking in your direction). It is more than adding up stats and plugging them into a spreadsheet (would The Flux please stand up). It is more than guffawing at big dunks and vicious blocks ([cough]Loser’s Row[cough]). To determine the true value of a player, there are five distinct commandments a fantasy player must abide by:

ONE: Thou Shalt Be Consistent—It seems these days that the term “fantasy stud” is tossed around as carelessly as Paris Hilton at an Oscar party. But in the good old days, “stud” was reserved for the players that put up the solid line every night. While a player with good averages will often get the job done, a consistent player is one you will look to at the end of the night and say “now that’s what I was expecting.” This is the first thing you look for in a player. If a player with this quality is offered to you, a threshold has been met and you should proceed less cautiously through the rest of the analysis. But as the consistency drops along the scale, your Alert Level should begin to creep up toward the red.

Consistency Scale (out of three games)

High Value: 3 games. Ex: Dirk Nowitzki, Allen Iverson

Medium Value: 2 games. Ex: Gerald Wallace, Josh Howard

Low Value: 1 game. Ex: Josh Smith, Ron Artest

TWO: Thou Shalt Command Thine Offense—Nothing is more frustrating than watching your first round pick wait outside the arc for some undrafted, rookie PG to dish him the ball. So, a solid but intangible factor in determining a player’s fantasy value is whether the team’s offense runs through him. This characteristic cannot be read in any box score, but only can be seen with one’s own eyes by actually watching a game. For those of you without the NBA Package, go to a bar to watch the player, because this is crucial. The most obvious picks for controlling the offense are point guards, but many teams also use their big men or shooting guards to control the half court offense. It is essential that the player does not always depend on a teammate to get him involved, because the more a player relies on others to get him the ball, the less you can rely on him to put up consistent stats.

Command Scale (out of three half court offensive possessions)

High Value: 3 touches. Ex: Steven Nash, Gilbert Arenas

Medium Value: 2 touches. Ex: Ray Allen, Tim Duncan

Low Value: 1 touch or less. Ex: Andrei Kirilenko, Mike Miller

THREE: Thou Shalt Be Unique—Let’s say you’ve got 8 positions and four bench spots in your league, and there are daily lineup changes. Now, would you rather (1) have six players starting while four ride the bench because of their lack of position eligibility, or (2) wrestle a bear with a roast beef sandwich stuffed down your pants? Personally, I’m thinkin’ I’d try my luck with the grizzly. A player with position eligibility can change the whole dynamic of your team, especially if he has a flex position (e.g. PG/SG, PF/C). But some positions in the NBA have a dearth of depth, while others are teeming with talent. So look to load up on shallow positions, even if only to use those players as trade bait later on.

Position Scale

High Value: PG, C

Medium Value: SF, PF

Low Value: SG

FOUR: Thou Shalt Overcome Thine Mistakes—Even my High School English professor could drop 20 points in an NBA game if she jacked up 100 shots, and she just got a new plastic hip. But at 10% FG, how useful are those 20 points? The point is: what good is a player that fills up one category if he swamps you in three others? A solid fantasy player needs to help you in all categories, or at the very least put up enough numbers in several categories to overcome his helplessness in the rest. While some league managers like to load up on position specialists despite their weakness across the rest of the board, I advise building a team with players that will put numbers in every column of the box score so that if a stat specialist falters, the rest of the team picks up his slack.

Balance Scale (out of 9 categories—PTS, RBS, ASTS, FG%, FT%, 3PT, BLK, STL, TO)

High Value: Top 50 in 5 or more. Ex: Kevin Garnett, Dwyane Wade

Medium Value: Top 50 in 3-4. Ex: Dwight Howard, Carlos Boozer

Low Value: Top 50 in 2 or less. Ex: Eddy Curry, Rip Hamilton


FIVE: Thou Shalt Be Secure In Thineself—Just like on sunset walk through Central Park, some players are always looking over their shoulder or asking for trouble. While the only valid information about a player is what he is likely to do in the future, we usually use past performance to predict future value. But sometimes what lies ahead is vague and unquantifiable; therefore, it is important to put some time into considering what externalities may affect the player in the future. If there is a rising star coming off the bench behind him, that may decrease his burn in the future. If he has a history of knee problems, you may want to weigh his chances of finishing the season healthy. Mastering this part of the analysis will only come with practice, but it never hurts to take the time and read some articles just to ensure that your investment is protected and intact for when he shows up in your team’s locker room.

Dependency Scale (based on external factors)

High Value: Superstar; clean bill of health. Ex: Kobe Bryant, LeBron James

Medium Value: All-Star; rising star on bench; moderate-to-risky health. Ex: Jermaine O’Neal, Marcus Camby

Low Value: Mid-level star; splitting time; bad history of injuries. Ex: Jason Terry, Grant Hill

YouTube Mr. League Group Created

As obsessive as this league is, we're all going stir-crazy eagerly anticipating the regular season tip off. We can't even watch preseason games since the dictators who contol League Pass have kept every preseason game off the air, save for the few games played in Europe. For that, we offer them a huge two-fisted middle finger salute.

So to pass the time and satiate our basketball fix, we've started emailing YouTube highlights of our players to each other. However, it's been quickly discovered that no one wants to just receive clips of another team's players (I'm looking at you NeverWon and your brand new Josh Smith infatuation. How is it even possible that you have never seen him play before?!? But that's a topic for another day).

To remedy the situation and encourage even more basketball watching among the league, I created a YouTube group for this league and blog entitled "Mr. League Fantasy Basketball." Catchy, right? I encourage all of you to join ASAP right here and begin posting clips that are:

1) Basketball highlights
2) Relevant to the league or we would all enjoy (no porn though, Moop)

Please try to limit the number of karaoke clips to less than one per day -- unless it's a Same Sex Meatloaf performance. The world needs more of that duo's karaoke goodness. Anwyay, let's try to have some fun with this.

And lastly, don't post the auction video. Bad things, man. Bad things.

Suck on this

Well, apparently making one post about one player on your team amounts to "just posting about your team all the time." Or so it goes according to Cardeef.

So Silv, here's some YouTube love for your boy Eddy Curry. Notice how oft-injured Delonte West soars to the low-fly zone to block EC.



And if you don't like it, I'll ask again -- does your web browser point automatically to this humble blog?

All hail Josh Smith

One of NeverWon's fantasy basketball truisms is that you will never love/watch/obsess over players like you do the ones on your team. Hence (like the Weasel likes to say) Darko Milicic, '06-'07.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've found this season's man crush. J-Smoove, I'll see on you on November 2, 7:30PM against the Mavs.

Until then folks, get your fantasy rocks off on these clips:

Stats I'd like to see

Back in the day, when NeverWon was spending time living life in Philly, I'd think of letters I'd want to write.

For example:

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,

When you walk across the floor like that, it makes me want to kill you.

Love,

NeverWon

Well, one of the letters I did write was to the NBA. You see, there was a game where Yao knocked the ball away from the post player and it ended up in T-Mac's waiting (yet strangely non-arthritic) hands.

Who got credit for the steal? T-Mac.

Who should've gotten credit for the steal? Yao.

Right then and there, I created a new statistical category: The half-steal. As far as new inventions go, I'd rank the half-steal thusly:

1) The Wheel
2) The Half-Steal
3) The personal computer
4) The Lightbulb

I wrote a letter to the NBA. They said they'd take it under advisement. 'Natch.

As time progressed and I watched Deron Williams pass the ball over and over to AK-47, only to have AK-47 brick shots like a 5th-grade girls team, I created another statistical category -- the Blown Assist.

Here's the invention list revision, the Blown Assist included.

1) The Wheel
2) The Half-Steal
3) The Blown Assist
4) The personal computer
5) The Lightbulb
6) The iPod (iPod added to clearly mark the passage of time)

Now I was able to watch games unburdened by the failures of my own players to get stats in the more "relevant" categories -- points, rebounds, assists, etc. Instead, I counted my favorite categories -- the Half Steal and the Blown Assist.

Why bring this up now? Well, it seems as though NBA players are in favor of new categories!

Witness Jameer Nelson's (Editor's Note: not the same as Lebron's "I am a Witness" Nike campaign) creation of the Hockey Assist category.

Well done Jameer! NeverWon salutes you.

Breakdown of commercials photos

Here is abreakdown of the photos from the commercial:

For a breakdown of the individual logos, you will have to wait for the release of the upcoming Player Profiles.