Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Season is Upon Us

Never Won wrote a poem to celebrate:

I'm gonna eat me a BLT
I have a big head like Sherry
Order me up some Domino's
Doing the nasty with skank ho's.

I got me a bad case of diarrhea
Robert Swift is diarrhea
I just rhymed the same word twice
Turkey and stuffing is real nice

Dear Amare, don't blow out your knee
When I was five I used to make pee (in my pants)
Peeing in your pants is cool
Stealing movie lines is for tools

So I got that going for me, which is nice
Josh Smith, you went for a high price
I will call you the "accidental buy"
Take a number, get ready to fly

I went to Coney Island, got me a hot dog
Needles, drugs, yuletide logs
There was Steph selling $20 shoes
Go to a new team, you're giving me the blues

One year at the auction we spelled your name Johs (Childress)
Forwards or backwards you're really quite soft
Step up your game it's a contract year
I sit on the toilet, get hemorrhoids in my rear

I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors

Lying in bed in the morning, I feel a rumble
Reach down my shorts, start to fumble
Hellllo morning wood, nice to see you
You're small, alas I'm a Jew.

Back to story of my team
I left the auction, had a dream
There was a Prince looking for his frog
"Take me from behind", she said, "I love your blog"

As a young kind I went to Pierce school
Now he's on my team making fools drool
Don't look now there's new winds blowing
Hey Boston, your vajajay is showing.

You play in Charlotte, I play in New York
I eat my spam sushi with a fat spork
Knocking 'em dead like I'm Jesse James
Felton isn't it about time you showed some game?

Manu, Manu, Manu CHAO!
I took another last name and paired it with wow
You'd be a lot cooler if you got more burn
You flop like a pussy with a lifetime of earn

Chandler Bing, Chandler Arizona, Tyson Chandler
Which of these three is not like other?
Fly me some pigeons, make a sandwich
I'm gonna eat your children, make me your mother

Did you get that last verse, it didn't rhyme like the rest
Are you ready to see the very damn best
That New York has to offer at MSG
The one player I really like is David Lee

This concludes my poem, welcome to the season
But what might you ask is the reason
You forgot to include your 12th player
The soft rotation spot doesn't leave him a prayer!

I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors
I'm gonna sweep me some floors


Best Team Ever said...

Wow, nearly simultaneous posts, Never Won. That is if you'd fix the clock on your posting time.

Still, that had to be the absolute gayest attempt at a poem I have ever seen. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

Best Team Ever said...

Also, stop trying to coin phrases that I came up with or we discussed, you dirty slampig.

Mighty Mullets said...

As I do every morning, I am currently, presently, as I type this, dropping a duece and reading BLE.

When you launched into I'm Gonna Sweep Me Some Floors, that stubborn turd came flying out.

For this, I owe.


TheBurningSensation said...

This made me smile. I miss her.